Can Purell be used as lube?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
