so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize