Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I party with great urgency now.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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