Where did you get a picture of my penis
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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