The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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