We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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