Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
