bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I checked into jail on foursquare
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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