i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
