Ambien. No doubt about it.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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