Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
