There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
