Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
