I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
