never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize