Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
