Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
