i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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