I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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