Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
