My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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