Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
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Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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