Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
