If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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