College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
