i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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