I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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