he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
