these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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