What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
