how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
