He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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