Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize