Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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