was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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