I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
