the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
