why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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