buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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