Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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