She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
