If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
