I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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