his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
