just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize
