Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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