He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
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Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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