Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
there is glitter all over my balls
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
