all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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