im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
