He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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