You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
