youre lurking in front of me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
