Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
