Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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