Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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