I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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