when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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