you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
